can you feel a little love?

list of my fandoms

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 21:36:37 GMT

( my list of fandoms )

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yuletide time is here!

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 19:52:26 GMT

( To my dearest, beloved Yuletide writer.... )

Despite the verbosity of this, I will (again!) paraphrase my past yuletide letters and say that if we got matched on any of these fandoms, and you love any of them as much as I do, whatever you write will make my yuletide. I'm already so excited to read whatever you come up with. XD
<3 emily

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list of my fandoms

Fri, 09 Oct 2020 21:34:27 GMT

( my list of fandoms )

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Tue, 06 Oct 2020 15:39:19 GMT

yuletide the ninth

Tue, 08 Oct 2019 17:41:22 GMT

it's yuletide time again!

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:46:20 GMT

it's a holiday feeling...

Tue, 03 Oct 2017 00:51:25 GMT

all i want for yuletide is you

Mon, 20 Oct 2014 14:37:36 GMT

Holy bananas, it's that time again.

( To my dearest, beloved Yuletide writer.... )

Despite the verbosity of this, I will (again!) paraphrase my past yuletide letters and say that if we got matched on any of these fandoms, and you love any of them as much as I do, whatever you write will make my yuletide. I'm already so excited to read whatever you come up with. XD
<3 emily

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Dear Secret Mutant letter

Wed, 08 Oct 2014 13:01:15 GMT

( Dear Secret Mutant... )

Thank you in advance, Secret Mutant! I'm really looking forward to whatever you create.
♥ emily

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NaNoWriMo is the cruelest month

Mon, 28 Oct 2013 20:20:52 GMT

So I'm having that panicked feeling when you've done something that scares and excites you all at the same time, but you mostly come down on the side of scared.... I've signed up for NaNoWriMo.

I've never done it before, except for the time in like 2004 when I signed up and on November 10 went HOW DO YOU WORDS ARG and quit. So I know it's a pretty serious undertaking, one in which I could use some support.

SOOOOO to anyone who's either done NaNo in the past, or is planning to do it this year, or is a writerly type themselves..... I wanted to sort of touch base with all of you, a) to find out if you're doing NaNo this year, b) to ask if you have any tips or suggestions for a first-time NaNo'er, c) to possibly set up some virtual writing dates to get some word-vomiting done together. Whether you're doing NaNo or just working on your own project, I definitely write better with someone else in the trenches with me. ;)

Thanks in advance my friends, I'm looking forward to writing with you. :)

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borrowed this from sarah. :)

Mon, 21 Oct 2013 21:47:50 GMT

Halloween is coming!

Comment "trick-or-treat" to this post and...well, you know the drill. Treats can be anything that strikes my fancy (pics of fave actors or pairings, one sentence fics, graphics, a few words why I'm glad to have you on my flist, etc. etc.). The more "houses" to visit the more fun it'll be, so go ahead, open your journal and help spread the fun!

(i'd use this icon if my paid acct hadn't run out, lol... i made this as part of a batch in 2004 and it's still one of my favorite halloween images basically ever.)

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Mon, 21 Oct 2013 20:12:24 GMT

I started reading Joe Hill's "20th Century Ghosts" and the first short story in the book already has me jumping out of my skin. Those sort of 'story within a story' things always hook me. And while there's something to be said for the son of the undisputed master of the horror genre having some pretty serious horror chops of his own, I honestly see more of a similarity between him and S.King in the way they write people. It's not about the scare-- though they're both so good at it-- it's about showing every person they write with all of their flaws exposed-- nothing pretty or shiny ~~unless you're a girl named Susan, I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT~~ but all the nasty bits of people out on display. Ugh. Shivers.

Speaking of, I've been trying to find some good horror that's not S.King or something I read when I was in high school, and Goodreads has been surprisingly unhelpful. Do any of you guys read horror? Have any recs for me? I think a lot of the best horror around these days is happening in the movies (and on American Horror Story, natch) but there's something about sitting down with a scary book in the fall that just screams Halloween to me.

And now it's time for some coffee. :D

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Wed, 16 Oct 2013 14:57:40 GMT

Yesterday was not a good day. I'm not sure why, whether lack of sleep or PMS or combination of the two, but I was just an anxiety-fueled stress ball basically from the minute I woke up until I got in bed.

Going to my writing group helped-- it usually does, getting out of my brain for awhile-- but I couldn't even be as productive as I wanted to be, just ended up rereading prior chapters of 1000 pages-- which was good, bc I caught a few inconsistencies that needed ironing out, but bad in that at the end of 3 hours I only had a few hundred words to show for my time.

Still feeling overwhelmed today, though not as bad. I took all my supplements plus my melatonin before I went to bed, so I slept great, thank God. That always has the ability to put a good spin on the day, lol. I keep thinking of that thing I keep seeing on Tumblr, about how procrastinators are so anxious about completing tasks because it's tied to their self worth, so they get an adrenaline high off of giving themselves the freedom not to worry about them... it's so applicable to my life, it almost makes me sick to read it.

Everything I'm panicking about right now is money related. It sucks. Money, I mean. I know that in a month or two things will be fine because I'll be going permanent at my job, so i'll be making a lot more than I am now (because Jesus, temp agencies take a HUGE cut) it's just hard to deal with now, especially when I have so much social shit going on. BFF's birthday next weekend, the big conference for my work the following weekend, my 30th birthday the weekend after that... Needless to say I'll be eating beans for the next few weeks so I can afford all the booze I'll be drinking, lol.

Anyway, point being that yesterday was not good, today is marginally better but still not fantastic, and if anyone has any good long fics to rec me so I have something to dive into to help me calm down, I'd appreciate them. :D Star Trek, X-Men, Pacific Rim, SGA, Merlin, whatever you got, really. Thanks in advance. XD

Also, it is freezing in this office. The other assistant told me that my predecessor spent all last winter sitting here in a Snuggie. I doubt I could ever bring myself to spend money on one of those, but a mini space heater is definitely happening. And maybe some gloves. *brrs*

...Time for some tea. :D

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alas! a cornucopia of love....

Thu, 10 Oct 2013 20:33:57 GMT

i was writing a post for my blog today and trying to find a post i'd written here a couple years ago, which led to me rereading a lot of old journal entries, which led to me thinking / wondering about why i don't really use a journaling site anymore. i don't know-- i think over the years i've withdrawn from LJ/DW as a community space, i think (? it's hard to remember at this point) because i was working a job where i couldn't read my flist anywhere near as often as i wanted to, and i started feeling guilty about not being able to keep up with people.

and that kind of sucks, you know? some of you guys are really good friends of mine, even if we haven't spoken in eons. i miss you. i miss the feeling of having a fan community, of having support and someone to talk to whenever i needed it. i think when i quit TR i also felt like i needed a marked separation, needed to get away from a space that was filled with reminders of a thing that i had left, admittedly for my own and everyone else's good, but that still made me sad and nostalgic not to be part of anymore.

working for lush was great. i'm not doing that anymore, which i'd be happy to talk about if anyone's interested, but the point is i spent almost four years with no time to breathe much less give time and attention to fostering relationships online. but now i feel kind of cut off. EOF is struggling, and more importantly, i'm struggling. writing, and RPing specifically, are really important to me for a million reasons, and i really miss belonging to an RPG that i could sink my teeth into without having to be in control of it. i don't think i'm cut out for modding, in the end; i'm good at it, but doing it doesn't leave me enough time to actually play, which is basically counterproductive in the worst way. and in the end, i'm not sure i want to be part of something with the kind of structure that almost all the worthwhile RPGs i see out there have.

what i really want-- what becky and i were talking about, that made me go OMG OMG YES THAT-- is a freeform writing community where there's enough of a world and a context to give character-building and relationship-building some meaning, but not so much structure that i couldn't decide to be busy for 2 weeks straight and come back to find everything had fallen apart in my absence. i would love to see something that didn't require apps but where the caliber of writing was still good-- which is basically like saying i want a unicorn, i know-- but i just really want a place where i can plot and play without pressure, where everyone's equally invested in what's going on, the plotting and planning happen collectively, and the focus is on telling good stories. if anyone knows of any RP communities that sound even remotely like what i'm talking about, i'd be interested in hearing about them.

idk, i think i also just am feeling lonely and out of sorts and sad lately, sort of unmoored in a weird way. i got a card from my dad in the mail on monday and he sounded so wistful, it just struck me that he probably has no idea how to reach out to me, like i know he doesn't want to rehash all the shit that he's done since he divorced my mom, but i can't stand the thought of having this superficial relationship with him forever. i wrote him this really awkward note back, i have no idea how to bridge the divide between us, but i do miss being able to talk normally to him, and maybe now that i'm in a position in my life where i don't need to depend on him for anything, i'll be able to relate to him like a friend. i think i can do that. i hope i can.

i think it's symptomatic of how horribly alone i feel sometimes. sounds super emo, but lately it's been true. it's not all the time-- i really love my life here in boston, i love my writing group and my book club and i feel like i might finally be in a place where i'm ready to start seeking out a social life here-- but i also miss feeling like there were people (plural) who get how important my fannish life is to me, and how much i crave a regular expression of it. my rl friends are geeks too, and like RPing, but none of them write fic, and none of them have the drive to indulge that part of themselves in the same ways i do.

so yeah... i think i might try to start posting here a bit more, keep up with my flist now that i'm in a position where i can actually read it regularly. it would be nice to get involved with fannish communities the way i did when i got into trek and white collar back in the day. if anyone's still watching this space (either of them, LJ or DW) i'd love to hear from you.

i'm also on twitter and tumblr as opentheyear, if you mostly pay attention to either of those sites, and i've been blogging a lot more regularly at plenty of pages if you read stuff on a feed reader.

okay. time to finish up my work day and go meet my writing partner for a couple of hours of dedicated internetless work. i have a short story i'm trying to wrangle into something resembling coherency, and i've left it alone for far too long.

hope all of you are well. it's nice to be writing here again; i'm pleasantly surprised to find i missed it. :)
♥ emily

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it's the most wonderful time of the year (almost)!

Tue, 08 Oct 2013 16:52:01 GMT

To my dearest, beloved Yuletide writer....

So I’m going to borrow from my past Yuletide letters here, and start by saying that if you're as excited about any of these fandoms as I am, I'll love what you write me no matter what. That said, I'm a fan of giving more information in the hopes that it will give you greater freedom in your writing, and because I know I'm going to want to know as much about the person I'm writing for as possible and figure I should give what I hope to get. :D So here are some paragraphs of perhaps tl;dr-level specificity, and please feel free to ignore all of it if there's a story in any of these fandoms that you really, really want to write. I trust you.

( ”more )

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Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:15:44 GMT

Well, I've been meaning to do this since Jess mentioned I hadn't been around in ages, and I said I would, and then a month went by. WOOPS.

Life is good. I've moved to the Boston area to move in with madeupofstars at last, and I think we're just about through that awkward adjusting-to-being-roommates phase. Our place is adorable and if any of you are ever trekking through Beantown, give me a holler! We'd love to put you up for a night.

My move also included a job transition, which has been both easier and harder to navigate. I left the store I'd been working at for 3 years because I could no longer work with the manager there. Besides treating me like a subordinate instead of a partner in running the store (the way the manager/manager-in-training team is supposed to work) she is just not the kind of person I could really feel good about working with. She's shallow and image-obsessed and talked constantly about all the men she was sleeping with and losing those last 5 pounds off her 110-pound frame with no regard for how that might make someone who's almost twice that size feel... unprofessional and just not my cup of tea. So I was like hey, peace out.

I applied to transfer to one of the Boston stores but then someone on the national management support team (basically like a regional manager if Lush had regional managers) called me and was like hey, this other store really needs help, would you be interested in working there instead? So I got contracted to manage this other store through the Christmas season. Which is awesome because I'm making more money than I did at the old place plus lots of bonus, but on the downside it's about an hour from my house, so my commute is really gross.

I'm struggling a little bit with where I want my career with Lush to go from here. I still love the company and really adore most of the parts of my job. But the past year-- losing the manager's job at my old store to someone who doesn't love the company the way I do and didn't value pretty much anything I brought to the table in terms of experience and viewpoint, and then having to take a back seat to that person for an entire year-- it really left me with a lot of resentment and a sour taste in my mouth. It used to be that most of my close friends worked either in retail or in a job with a non-traditional schedule, so not being available on the weekends wasn't a huge deal. Now I'm one of only two of us that can't just hop in the car and take off on Friday night for a two day getaway, and it's starting to bug me a little. I sort of miss getting paid $15 an hour to dick around on the internet. But I also remember how little emotional fulfillment I got from jobs like that, and how excited I was to work for a company that engaged my values and my heart as well as my personality.

I'm not at the point of quitting yet, not nearly. But I really wonder, when next Christmas comes along, if I'll still have it in me to give a fuck. This sounds kind of whiny, but I just want to be a manager, now rather than later. When I was acting manager in my old store, it was fun-- being in charge of my own store, getting to travel every now and then, hiring, really feeling like I owned a piece of things-- that made me feel like it mattered that I was there. That's what I want to get back, and after this Christmas is over, if I can't find a way to do that, I don't really know what I'll do. At least I have a plan-- once my contract is up (end of January) I'm applying to transfer as manager-in-training to a store much closer to my house, to work for a friend of mine who's managing it. She wants to help me move up and has a lot of cachet with the company with which to help me do so. Plus managing the highest volume store in New England during the Christmas season isn't hurting my chances, lol.

So on the job front (and god bless you if you got through all of that) things are okay, but in a bit of limbo. I feel less grinchy than I did last Christmas, but I think I need a little more festivity in my life and in the apartment before I can really feel excited about it. Amanda and I are going to try to get a tree tomorrow-- where, god only knows-- and we're switching bedrooms this week as well, which is going to be hectic but ultimately satisfying. I need more space, she wants the room with the closet, it works out perfectly.

Things on edge_of_forever are picking up again as well. It's been rough for me the past few months trying to keep up with modding and playing, but I feel like I'm finally getting on top of things. I've figured out how to manage doing at least a couple of tags a day, which for the first month of an hour-long commute was not easy, lol. And we're getting some new players and new apps, which is exciting. I was really pumped to revamp the app-- which for those of you who play on the game, we revamped the app! There'll be an announcement about it this week XD-- to hopefully make it much easier for people to apply without regurgitating Wikipedia articles about their characters' histories. It sucks hearing people say repeatedly "ugh, I hate writing apps, it's so stressful"-- like as a mod, I don't want people to feel that way about apping to my game. I mean sure, apping shouldn't be brainless, you should have to think about what you're saying and why. But the 500 word history and personality has started to feel pedantic even to me, and it's nice to feel like we've found a way around it.

Also I'm so stupidly excited for holiday plot. XD And to get to use my weather machine idea AT LAST. :DDDD

Other life things in a nutshell. My grandparents moved into a retirement home over the summer, which has been weird to deal with, but they're clearly a lot less stressed out without having to worry about taking care of a house, so that's good. My mother, in a staggering example of empty nest syndrome, adopted a kitten last week. Her name is Luna and she is black and white with a permanent Batman mask and cape-- her eyes and ears and entire back are black. She's fucking adorable and has all the energy in the world, loves to climb things and people, and any toys that make noise. Getting my cat and Amanda's cats to like each other is a slow going process, but we've established a pattern where we can leave them all out in common space and they won't kill each other, and mostly just leave each other alone. I got a new bed for my birthday, it is amazing not to be sleeping on a futon for the first time in 8 years. And thanks to my friend Steph I have rekindled my middle-school love of painting my nails and have become a little nail obsessed. Not going to start a blog anytime soon or anything, but I'm having a lot of fun with it. Helps make me feel like I put some effort in even when I have the flu and am basically dressed in the work equivalent of a pair of pajamas. I'm literally wearing yoga pants to work today which I never do. But god, I hate being sick. I've had to take two days off this past week and I still have no voice. Ugh.

However, I must go get ready for said work shift now, so I'll put a cap on this. How are you all?
♥ emily

PS - i swear to god i'm getting back to my would-be betas THIS WEEK. :3 i want to have the first half of 1000 pages up on AO3 by the new year!! look in your inboxes.

PPS - someone please cheerlead me and tell me i can write my yuletide fic before friday. because ugfskdjfhdg don't want to have to default. D:

ok really going now

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Tue, 13 Nov 2012 18:52:53 GMT

quick psa especially to those who volunteered to beta 1000 pages for me-- i moved about 2 weeks ago and have been completely swamped in work and unpacking, so apologies for not replying to you sooner! i am finally settling in and should be back in the world, so to speak, very soon. :D

hope all of you had a lovely spooky halloween. <3

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it's beginning to feel a lot like....

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 03:12:07 GMT

to my dearest, beloved yuletide writer....

so i’m going to paraphrase from my past yuletide letters here, and start by saying that if you're as excited about any of these fandoms as i am, i'll love what you write me no matter what. that said, i'm a fan of giving more information in the hopes that it will give you greater freedom in your writing, and because i know i'm going to want to know as much about the person i'm writing for as possible and figure i should give what i hope to get. :D so here are some paragraphs of perhaps tl;dr-level specificity, and please feel free to ignore all of it if there's a story in any of these fandoms that you really, really want to write. i trust you. XD

( ”more )

comments

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 13:48:21 GMT

Hello lovelies,

It's been awhile. I haven't been in much of a blogging mood for a while, but I'm moving in a month and as such am doing a little mental housekeeping. I might be posting here more often over the next few weeks, I might not, but I'm trying to get some things in order that I've let slide, one of which I could use your help on.

The last thing I did on this journal was post my XMFC AU WIP 1000 pages (give or take a few) and now, in an attempt to get seriously working on it again, I'm looking for someone to a) beta read the story so far so I can post it on AO3, and b) cheerlead me through continuing on with it. I have always said I would go on to finish it, but I need a little support to actually knuckle down and write, lol.

I'm mostly looking for someone who's willing to nitpick my words (repetition of phrases, accidentally contradicting myself, etc), be attentive to the flow of the story (what parts could stand to be fleshed out more, what parts seem unnecessary) and most of all, hold me accountable to actually writing more of it.

So. Any takers? :D There's no such thing as too many eyes on this (or too many cheerleaders ;)), so whoever's interested, let me know!

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Fri, 24 Feb 2012 01:58:02 GMT

GET INFORMED • • • GET IDENTIFIED • • • GET QUARANTINED

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FIC : a thousand pages (give or take a few) ; part 7 ; XMFC ; charles/erik ; rated nc-17

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:51:20 GMT

( When the doorbell rang on Monday night, Raven was sliding the tray of garlic bread out of the oven while Charles hunted in the depths of his cabinets for something to put it in. )

And that's all I've got for the moment. I really hope you guys like it, and will look forward to any and all comments and feedback in whatever form they come. Hopefully you like it enough to prod me to writing more of it. XD

And now, it's 2 am, and I'm going to bed. Goodnight!
♥

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FIC : a thousand pages (give or take a few) ; part 6 ; XMFC ; charles/erik ; rated r

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:48:08 GMT

( The next morning Charles's alarm went off at six o'clock. )

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FIC : a thousand pages (give or take a few) ; part 5 ; XMFC ; charles/erik ; rated r

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:40:51 GMT

( The Amtrak from Albany to Rochester was a little over four hours. )

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FIC : a thousand pages (give or take a few) ; part 4 ; XMFC ; charles/erik ; rated r

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:38:19 GMT

( The first time Charles was dragged from sleep the next morning, the bed was striped with light filtering in through the blinds, and Erik was moving around the room getting dressed. )

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FIC : a thousand pages (give or take a few) ; part 3 ; XMFC ; charles/erik ; rated r

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:35:40 GMT

( By Tuesday, Charles had come to the realization that he had a lot more at stake in Moira's holiday party than he usually did. )

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